are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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