the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize