Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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