people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
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i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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