you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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