Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
