I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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