The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
