Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
