I bet he comes in French.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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