I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
