Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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