what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
