I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
