I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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