Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
In America we eat man semen.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
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