I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
