I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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