my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
please come you make the beer taste better
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
