dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You took a bar mat shot.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
