i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
