What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
In America we eat man semen.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
