hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
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I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
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I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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