I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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