Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
