put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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