fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
