so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
