Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
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