I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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