The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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