if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
