You work out of a Hotel?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
