12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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