best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize