she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
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Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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