No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
