i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
