but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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