yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
