____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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