A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
