yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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