I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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