Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
