i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
