am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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