ADVERTISEMENT

• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  obviously you're part succubus.

  Fav 8 2733 1076

  share tweet
  

• (513): View more from Ohio

  Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.

  Fav 33 970 3153

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (970): View more from Colorado

  I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina

  Fav 100 6922 2625

  share tweet
  

• (305): View more from Florida

  once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away

  Fav 15 1305 4345

  share tweet
  

• (319): View more from Iowa

  Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?

  Fav 14 1436 864

  share tweet
  

• (831): View more from California

  to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal

  Fav 6 764 1494

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (619): View more from California

  I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup

  Fav 8 1550 880

  share tweet
  

• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on

  Fav 5 1201 640

  share tweet
  

• (319): View more from Iowa

  Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint

  Fav 1 1031 667

  share tweet
  

• (650): View more from California

  Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S

  Fav 3 960 638

  share tweet
  

• (815): View more from Illinois

  HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.

  Fav 1 454 709

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (951): View more from California

  Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying

  Fav 1 475 154

  share tweet
  

• (860): View more from Connecticut

  That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument

  Fav 3 147 86

  share tweet
  

• (773): View more from Illinois

  How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?

  (224): View more from Illinois

  THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.

  Fav 0 70 17

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (214): View more from Texas

  YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK

  Fav 0 13 75

  share tweet
  

Randomize