I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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