my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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