dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
