Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
