Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
