Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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