Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
