OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
