If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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