Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
