im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
