hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
