Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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