Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
