If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.†I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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