Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Houston, we have a blender
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
