hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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