How'd it feel making her break her religion?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
