you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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