just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
